The Spider

After a very intense night of meditation and cleansing with a shaman- a night of releasing attachments at the source of fear- I had the most beautiful experience. 

The next morning after getting in my car, I noticed a small spider on the outside of my driver side window. It was small, maybe the size of a nickel with its legs fully extended.  White and yellow in color- very similar to the citrine crystal around my neck. 

As I started driving I watched it cling to this one strand of web as tight as it could with all 8 legs- whipping back and forth in the wind as the car accelerated. I remember thinking- 'we're going to get on the freeway soon little one. You won't be able to hold on much longer. Let go. Get off while you can!' 

At the stop light I watched it place several more anchors of web onto the window. Scrambling to get them down as quickly as possible. And as I accelerated, I watched it hold on to 4 strands instead of one as it desperately tried to anchor down and hang on. 

One more block and I knew we'd be at the freeway on-ramp. 'Ready or not little one', I felt myself say. It whipped back and forth harder and harder, hanging on as tight as it could as the car sped up until finally all of the attachments broke free of the window and the little spider spiraled off into the unknown. 

Just like the little spider, I find myself trying to put down anchors, to hold myself down in places I actually want to let go of. I catch myself creating more blockages to clear. And find myself saying "just let go little spider, it'll hurt less." 

One way or another, the universe will send me spiraling into the unknown :)